A new beginning
Practicing mindfulness for over a decade has undeniably transformed my perception of life, though I must confess that it remains an ongoing endeavor. There are moments when I falter, losing myself for minutes, hours, and even days. Particularly in the evenings, when I find myself alone, winding down from the day's activities, my mind lacks the dexterity and discipline to sustain the practice. It is astonishing how swiftly a single moment of presence can slip into mindlessness, plunging me into a trance-like state. Witnessing myself succumb to this mindlessness is a humbling experience, and, dare I admit, at times, it almost seems as though I derive a peculiar pleasure from being lost in its grip. I shall delve further into this in future writings.
Allow me to elucidate the concepts of mindfulness and mindlessness. Mindfulness is the state of heightened awareness, of observing one's own existence from an ostensibly external standpoint. It involves being attuned to the sensations coursing through the body, such as the subtle movement of air through the nose or the delicate nuances of bodily experiences, all without yearning for those sensations to persist or dissipate. It is simply the act of engaging with the awareness that watches, taking note of what arises and its eventual passage. On the other hand, mindlessness manifests as a lack of mindfulness.
Becoming mindful was not a conscious decision. Rather, it was a consequence of the myriad choices I made that compelled me to become a more attuned individual. Mother Nature jolted me awake from the mindlessness trance when I received my diagnosis of Crohn's Disease in 2012. If you are unfamiliar with this "dis-ease," it is an inflammatory bowel disease that, if left untreated, can prove fatal. Through the lens of a colonoscopy, I witnessed erosions and ulcers festering within my intestinal tract, significantly impeding proper digestion. The inflammation solely affected the inner lining of my large intestines, triggering excruciating stomach cramps, relentless diarrhea, and an alarming surge in my white blood cell count. Astonishingly, to this day, modern medical science lacks a definitive cure. My doctor, at the time, advised me to consume daily anti-inflammatory pills to suppress my immune system's aggressiveness towards the ulcers. They instructed me to take a staggering twelve pills per day! Yes, you read that correctly—twelve pills each day, with no clear medical path to fully restore my health. During the years leading up to my diagnosis, my weight peaked at approximately 300 pounds, and I found myself incapable of touching my toes due to severe lower back pain that would confine me to bed for days.
Why am I revealing this to you? It is staggering to consider that 1 in every 100 Americans receives an inflammatory bowel disease diagnosis, with both men and women being equally susceptible. 75% of those diagnosed with Crohn's disease ultimately undergo surgery to remove the affected section of their colon, and up to 38% percent of individuals who have undergone the procedure experience a resurgence of symptoms within the first year. Crohn's Disease is on the rise, and while many believe this abdominal disorder predominantly affects children, it can strike at any age and is becoming increasingly prevalent worldwide. As I pen this post, I have managed to reclaim my health and discover natural methods for healing my supposedly incurable condition, without resorting to surgery or lifelong pharmaceutical dependence.
Today, I am giving birth to BeingMNDFL (pronounced "BeingMindful"), a creation that has been gestating within my soul for the past eleven years. Presently, it primarily involves openly sharing my personal practice with the public. This undertaking revolves around recounting my own journey of overcoming Crohn's disease through mindfulness and how this practice can aid others grappling with similar autoimmune ailments. By sharing my journey, I hope to reach individuals who endure comparable experiences and assist them in recognizing destructive behaviors that, over time, can lead to catastrophic outcomes. Through BeingMNDFL, my ultimate goal is to establish a community where individuals can seek solace, engage in self/co-regulation, and acquire knowledge to navigate the challenges and stressors of life. I kindly ask those who are reading this post to share it with anyone who might be interested, spreading the word and extending their support for this new project. Together, we can create a ripple effect of mindfulness, reaching more individuals who can benefit from the practice and fostering a community dedicated to growth, healing, and resilience. Your contribution in sharing and supporting BeingMNDFL is immensely appreciated.