Digital Temptations
Art installation at Amsterdam Dance Event (ADE) - Sunday Hangover Festival
Talking about unhealthy habits, as I've ventured into in previous blog posts, has led me to a realm of unforeseen outcomes. When I first embarked on this vulnerable path, I could never have fathomed the extraordinary revelations it would unveil. One of my reasons for exposing myself is to engage in genuine conversations about my practices and approach to navigating life's diverse challenges. I don't profess to hold all the answers or consider myself a thought leader on these topics. Instead, I bare my soul in the hope that my vulnerability might ignite a spark of illumination in others. To shed light on my actions and delve into their underlying reasons is to cast them in a new perspective, free from the shackles of shame or guilt.
As I pen these thoughts, fear lurks at the periphery, a poignant reminder of the very essence I must embrace and lay bare before you all. For within the embrace of vulnerability lies the strength to confront that which shadows our existence. By revealing the depths of my struggles, I aspire to invite you all to join me in this personal odyssey of self-discovery and introspection, igniting profound inner contemplation in the hearts of my readers.
Awe-struck by the disarray in my relationship with my phone and the internet, I find myself caught in a relentless undertow. Of all the addictions I've grappled with, none has left me feeling as ensnared as this digital tether. Perhaps it's the very nature of these devices, woven into the very fabric of my life, that makes the struggle so daunting. As a technologist, the realization dawns upon me, like a newfound revelation, that my addiction to these modern marvels is far deeper and primal than I ever dared to admit. It harks back to the days of childhood, when I, like countless others, fell captive to the allure of television and video games, captivated by the vivid tales woven by master storytellers. Those threads of enchantment have woven themselves into the tapestry of my existence, leaving me yearning for a path to a balanced and healthy relationship with the digital realm.
Even now, as I pour my musings into this post, I am entangled in a paradox, feeling like a hypocrite as I find myself staring at a screen, pouring my soul into this digital canvas. A reflection of the society I inhabit, where people seem increasingly ensnared by the ever-enticing glow of their devices. Lost in the digital abyss, they traverse public spaces, oblivious to the vibrant tapestry of life unfurling around them. Even in the presence of the innocence of childhood, where parents seek respite from the whirlwind of parenting by bestowing screens upon their progeny, we witness a disconcerting pattern. A pattern that echoes through the corridors of time, manifesting in the hearts of my contemporaries, myself included.
Yet, let us not demonize the technology that holds both the power to enlighten and ensnare. For it is our very humanity, our conditioning, that renders us susceptible to succumbing to the siren call of unhealthy habits. Let us not forget the cunning minds that deftly design systems meant to harvest our attention and steer our behaviors. As capitalism feeds on consumption, our minds and attention have become the most prized of commodities, sought after and harvested by ingenious forces. And so, the onus lies upon each of us to define what it means to navigate these digital waters with intention and mindfulness.
In a moment of profound revelation, I stumbled upon a powerful interview where Dr. Anna Lembke delves into the realm of technology addiction. Her insights struck a chord within me, resonating with a collective sense of helplessness we all experience in the face of these modern inventions. To confront any unhealthy behavior or addiction, the path often leads to abstaining from the source. Yet, the intricacies of technology and its pervasive nature make complete abstinence a tantalizing mirage. Hence, I find myself yearning for a new approach, one that stands firmly rooted in mindfulness.
Dr. Judson Brewer's masterful work, "Unwind Anxiety," offers a captivating framework, backed by research, for untangling unhealthy behaviors. Our brain's evolution stands divided, an interplay between ancient and modern components. The newer sections orchestrate thinking, creativity, and decision-making, while beneath, the ancient brain regions hum with primordial wisdom, built to ensure our survival. Among these ancient corners, lies the realm of reward-based learning, shaped by positive and negative reinforcement. A primal dance that drove our ancestors to remember the source of sustenance and the places of peril. A dance dictated by dopamine, the very alchemy of pleasure and learning.
Yet, the modern world has harnessed this alchemy in the pursuit of manipulation, rekindling ancient pathways in our brains. Companies deftly wield the tools of reward-based learning, triggering cravings and emotions, ensnaring us in habits and compulsions. The food industry meticulously crafts foods that set our reward systems ablaze, while social media companies cunningly optimize platforms to keep us captivated, scrolling endlessly through virtual realms. The implications of this dance extend beyond the mere pursuit of sustenance, morphing into an intricate tapestry of addiction and dependency, encompassing realms far beyond traditional substances.
But there is more to this tale, a layer of complexity woven by additional addiction maximizers. Intermittent reinforcement, the allure of unpredictability, beckons the ancient brain with an irresistible dance. Like a skilled musician striking chords that resonate with our deepest longings, intermittent reinforcement leaves us yearning for more. The echoes of casinos fill the air, where slot machines play upon this very essence of unpredictability, captivating minds and emptying pockets. And so too, in the realm of silicon valleys, apps use alerts as their clarion call, beckoning us to respond to their insistent summons. To the ancient brain, there is no distinction between the saber-toothed tiger and the late-night email notification from a distant employer.
To compound this labyrinth of dependency, immediate availability beckons, a tantalizing symphony of instant gratification. In a world where desires are but a fingertip away, our phones transform into billboards of advertisement, where a dance of consumption unfolds. Thus, the dance evolves from a mere ritual of sustenance to an all-encompassing symphony of stimulus and response, playing upon our most primal desires.
I have lost count of the number of times I reached out to my phone, opened various apps, or visited different websites as I was writing this post. The very act of articulating my struggles exemplifies the magnitude of the challenge we face in this digital age. Even as I comprehend this intricate dance, its allure eludes me. Understanding alone cannot sever the digital tether that ensnares me. A labyrinthine path awaits, and I believe mindfulness stands as our beacon, guiding us through this modern maze. In the future, I shall delve into Dr. Jud's framework, unraveling how mindfulness can untangle the threads of our existence and lead us towards a more balanced state of being. Just as I've triumphed over past addictions, I embark on this journey with patience and perseverance. Complete abstinence from phones and connectivity may prove unattainable, but an ongoing practice, tailored to my individual self, offers hope on this labyrinthine odyssey. By sharing my journey, I kindle the embers of contemplation within you all, inviting you to offer your insights and suggestions, that together, we may navigate this modern labyrinth and emerge into the light of mindful existence.